Musings of a Dumb Ass

Musings of a Dumb Ass.. There comes a time in ones life that their mortality becomes a fact in realization. Mine has. I have become aware that 10 year plans are not particularly a good bet for me. 20 year plans are not likely to mature to settlement and anything beyond that is fodder for failure. It's somewhat of a surreal existence when I consider I have clothes and jewelry I've had 25 years, and when I look at them, the years we've had together don't seem so many, yet so be it. I've searched myself out about the way I feel about 'things' and some things are crystal clear in old age while other 'things' remain mysterious and elusive and plainly will remain that way after my exit. Sometimes I find myself judgemental with those who don't do as I think they should and at the same time find myself reluctant to join in characture assassination of those who clearly deserve to be roasted but maybe didn't do whatever created the desire to do them misery. I'm always aware that the rules governing right and wrong can be misapplied and ruin lives at the whim of someones selfishness or greed or even because of self adulation. All in all advancing age has borne uncertain answers to questions I didn't particularly think about as a young man. Absolute answers I enjoyed as a young man have morphed into debatable scenarios of outcome while rules of behaviour that were rock solid no longer apply. Meanwhile life is still exciting to the core and in my case shows no sign of slithering off to nothingness in defeat because the times command a different way to handle just about everything around me and seemingly in almost direct opposition to the simple ways of another time. If one can come to an understanding of our species time in charge of this earth as opposed to how long the earth has existed it quickly becomes evident that we are a unique happening of undisciplined in a world of which all other creatures are disciplined in life and death and uncluttered with doubt about how to live life and conduct themselves on their trip to wherever they go, if anywhere. No one knows if there's a final destination to look forward to for our kind and that in itself has been cause for us to kill each other in disagreement since we advanced enough to speak and forage together. After millions of years of perfecting our ways we're still much the same, just much more comfortable in our existence but just as unsure of our future. Somehow I've just rambled on and actually lost my point........ but that's the greatness of being a Dumb Ass.... especially an old one.................. ZZZZZZZZzzzzz