Musings Of A Dumb Ass

At its very best life is fragile. The structure that makes whatever we live in that we call ours, is subject to change without warning. What makes us happy is sometimes whimsical but nevertheless when denied we may become obsessed over the pursuit of what is unimportant. But unimportant to whom?
We are and always have been self centered, and so am I. But what really is important? My life has been such a roller coaster of events that was a constant in range from disaster to Pollyanna that I may have become indifferent to just about everything. I don't know how and why my life has been as it has, but as casual strangers are given a glimpse of my life experience the reaction is usually one of admiration and jealousy, while from my tree branch I can never quite let go of dark periods and bad luck memories. I never allow it to take me to depression but I can never get rid of it either.
As I traveled the globe and became aware that my bad memory and treatment in the Buffalo River Valley in Arkansas as a child can be dwarfed in an eyeblink by the terror and misery of those in a third world country, I grew a little as a human being and found room in my inept brain to have compassion for those with no future, fully aware that in my misery as a child, at no time was there ever a period that I didn't have a future, in stark opposition to my fellow humans that had the misfortune to be born who they were where they were, and locked into degradation all of their days unto the end.
We are an ungrateful and dishonest species, and will remain so as long as we be. We now know even Mother Teresa was a hypocrite and sometimes I fear I'm no better. I have to think about that. Problem is, if you must have time alone to think, you may be alone to think. I suppose I should read my own poem again called 'Once Upon A Thought'...... It actually says everything is only in your head, and it is, be it good, bad positive or negative. What incredible power we have..... How stupid we are to waste it.....................